Where’s my second base??

20 Apr

 

Insert perverted tickle-me-elmo joke here.

 

Baseball metaphors are popular when dealing with sex, first and home are agreed upon, first base is kissing and home base is fuckey time. Some definitions say second base is under or over the shirt and third base is hands down the pants. Others consider second base to be groping of any sort and third base is sex of the oral variety. For the sake of my argument I will be using the first definition cause it supports what I’m going to say

 My question is….”Where’s my second base?” As a straight lady the chances I’m going to fondle some male tittay and get a positive response are slim. Don’t get me wrong, some dudes are totally into that but they are a small percentage and it’s not generally a good idea to pull that trick out to early.

But if you are just starting to get seksi with a boy you’re options, as a lady, to progress the situation are as follows. Kissing to wang touching. That is a giant leap to me. Boys get a nice middle ground with the boob grab but we have to go straight to the danger zone. Cause we all know that when junk is touched it creates a more critical sexual situation. And in my experience, once you grab wang sex is expected.

Sure they’ll say it’s cool if you decide you don’t want to or aren’t ready yet but in their mind they are thinking “Damn, why would you touch it if you weren’t ready to fuck.” True story.

And before anyone throws out oral sex as an option I’d like to point out that putting a weiner in my mouth is not the same as grabbin a boob. They are not the same level, sexually. And I like to not have my first encounter with a dudes spam javelin to be closely staring at its veiny underside. I’m prudish like that.

 I want something to do to a man that is the equivalent of playing with a ladies funbags. I want some sexual base indicator that lets a dude know I’m into him but he’s not getting the sexy-time but is also more than just making-out.

Nugget of Awesomeness: Per the usual, I want some more options. I ask a lot of the world in this blog but that’s cause I’m selfish. But really, is there some middle ground for ladies??? Is there something that men like that can come after kissing but before unzipping the pants??? I’m no prude but sometimes I want to slow it down a bit and feel like I have no options. Sometimes I’d like to leave the wang out of the equation……..hmmm, don’t see that working for the men folk.

9 Responses to “Where’s my second base??”

  1. kentmcmanigal April 20, 2012 at 11:25 am #

    You are kinda missing the obvious. Second base for you would be you touching him with your boobs. Take his hand and place it on your boob or offer a boob for some intimate face time. That is always appreciated. I would appreciate that right now. Greatly.

    • P-Swayze is my copilot April 20, 2012 at 12:07 pm #

      By my calculations it takes a man about 35 seconds before he grabs boob which makes the preemptive boob stike unlikely. And you are missing the point that I what I wish I had was a way to gratify HIM that was a step in between. Placing a dudes hand on my breast is me doing the thing he was going to do 10 seconds before he did it.

      • kentmcmanigal April 20, 2012 at 12:12 pm #

        Offering a boob will gratify him. There have been times when I wasn’t going to grab a boob- not for a while- and the girl suddenly offered me one. It was wonderful to not have to wonder “should I?.. Will she get angry?” and just let her take the initiative there.

        Another thing to consider is to take his hand and lick and suck a finger.

  2. P-Swayze is my copilot April 20, 2012 at 12:20 pm #

    Except for during those awkward teenage years I have never had men wait that long to play with the girls. At least in my experience. I am quite ample in that department so I suspect they have a gravitational pull on men’s hands.

    • kentmcmanigal April 20, 2012 at 12:30 pm #

      I wait. Perhaps I am still awkward. Or, maybe I am just more into the anticipation. Because I LOVE the anticipation. I love seeing what she’ll do next. I love being surprised. And I love each new sensation and experience as each doorway is encountered and then passed through. Ummm…. I’m getting warm now.

  3. Zelig Skykiller April 20, 2012 at 1:34 pm #

    i don’t think there is an equivalent. been thinking hard and can’t think of anything. i’d just chalk it up to “more shit that sucks” about life.

  4. Adam April 27, 2012 at 2:28 pm #

    I’ve literally been thinking about this for a week. In part because it’s a good example of why this blog is so good — but also because I was sure there must be something. But, alas, nothing. Sadly, Mr. Skykiller is right.

    • P-Swayze is my copilot April 27, 2012 at 2:42 pm #

      I thank you for your careful consideration of the topic but I guess us ladies will have to make do with junk grabbing. As a dude, I would consider this a win.

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