I can remember the exact moment I figured out that when one of your girls asks you what you think of their new boyfriend or girlfriend they don’t want your honest opinion, they want you to validate how they already feel. If recollection serves me it was spring 1994, I was just shy of 15 and don’t think I had grown all the boob I was gonna grow. The last bit is not important to the story I just find it an odd notion that I once had smaller boobs.
My good friend had gotten back together with her ex who had broken up with her to “go out with” another girl and the other girl ended up cheating on him (hahahahaha). So it’s the first time I am meeting this guy who I have heard a lot about, suprisingly mostly good stuff.
Let’s just say I was less than impressed and I felt my friend was hotter and more interesting than this dude deserved, a feeling I would have many times over my life towards my girlfriends choice of boyfriends. To protect identities we will just refer to the couple as Lady and Duder. So Lady and I head to the kitchen for some snack food after I have met Duder for the first time. Lady says to me “So what do you thing?” , I say “I think you can do better.”
Then flames shoot out her nostrils and her eyes turn black as coal, her voice screams the howl of the banshee as she rips a leg from the nearest chairs to impale me with, this is the price I must pay for not see the arguable splendor of the Prince Charming she now has in her life. I am expendable, she will dispose of my wickedness and never think of me again, she will have no need to due to the bliss she will experience every moment she is with him…..
Alright, it was slightly these dramatic than that. Only slightly.
Lady says in screeching high-pitched manner “Why does everyone keep saying that!!” And that is the moment I realized I made a terrible mistake by being honest. She kept talking, something about he makes her happy and people judging him harshly and what not. I didn’t catch most of the rest of the conversation because my brain was trying to work out how I got in trouble, cause I was definitely in trouble.
And the then the lightbulb turned on, I was in trouble cause she was happy and I didn’t support that. And just as a man will learn at some point that there is nor right answer to the question “do I look fat” and feigning sleep is the best option, I learned to smile and be happy for your friend, no matter what.
Ultimately it’s their life to be lived however they want but I can’t help but think that a little more honesty and a little less understanding could have helped all us ladies out in the course of our lives. Example, I wish someone would have had the guts to tell my ex was boring and selfish, that could have saved me loads of wasted time.
Nugget of Awesomeness: This is a no-win situation so take the path of least trouble and say what they want to her about the man in their life. Sure he may be annoying, ugly, smelly, boring, nerdy, too old, too young, or whatevs but your friend is happy and the only thing the truth does is make her and you unhappy. Although I generally preach honesty, this is an exception. Lie and lie well. She’ll figure it out or she won’t but that’s her call, not yours.