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Confession Goulash- Boobs Edition

16 Aug

P4050185

I once competed for the title of Sausage Queen. My talent was shoving a beer in my cleavage, hands free pouring it into a glass and then chugging the beer. A female friend motor-boated my dewy, beer boobs as a finale. Some how I lost the competition. Humanity FAIL.

Confession Ghoul-ashe #5

2 Aug

potatoheart

When I’m at a restaurant and get 2 sides with a dish I want to order french fries AND mashed potatoes but I don’t. I’m afraid people will judge my insane love of potatoes so I order green-beans or salad instead. 

Confession Goggly-goop #4

25 Jul

drew-care

I’ve had multiple sex dreams about Drew Carey. And not skinny Drew Carey, it was Fat Drew Carey. And not gross sex dreams like super hott sex dreams.

Confession Goulash #3

19 Jul

golf club

When I was a kid I ripped the roof of my mouth off with a broken golf club. You know all those bumps and ridges you have on the roof of you mouth?? I don’t have them.

Confession Goulash #2

18 Jul

download

I once had a lengthy conversation among friends about the difference between double stuff and double penetration. The answer…..

  • Double stuff = 2 dicks, 1 hole
  • Double penetration= 2 dicks, 2 holes

Confession Gulash #1

17 Jul

When I see a Book of the Month sign my inner monologues sings ♪ It’s the book of the month ♪ to the tune of Bone Thugs-N-Harmony’s “First of the Month.”

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