Tag Archives: Judgement

Confession Ghoul-ashe #5

2 Aug

potatoheart

When I’m at a restaurant and get 2 sides with a dish I want to order french fries AND mashed potatoes but I don’t. I’m afraid people will judge my insane love of potatoes so I order green-beans or salad instead. 

DD free

30 Mar

I am a normal guy (very sane) with a great attitude. I am a white male, non-smoker, 28, 6’2″, 230lbs, 7.5″, cut, and std/dd free (uses condoms). I have a degree in engineering and a good job. I am open to try new things. I love doggie. My number is XXX-666-2351 if you want to call or text or email me at XOXOXOXOXO@gmail.com

Where to begin, where to begin??? If your major criteria to meet for “normal” is being sane then something is wrong. And WTF is very sane???. And, FYI, dudes who are completely normal and sane are boring, in life and in the sack. Can you say too much missionary???? So that first sentence should be replaced with- I’m boring and lame.

I see what you did after that, you just snuck your penis length in with the rest of the measurements so I had to do a double take, which I did. Not because of its size but cause it immediately struck me as a huge exaggeration. Wanna  know why??? Any man with a good size dick knows he doesn’t have to gloat about it in an email, doing that in an email is equivalent to wagging your dick in my face on first meeting me.

Bulletin points of other dumb shit

  • DD free means drug and disease free, you mean besides the STD you just mentioned you don’t have. Is this a way to say you don’t have fibromyalgia or yellow toes shit?
  • You like doggie? Like man-on-dog sex??? Are you a Santorum supporter?? If you love doggie-style, don’t be lazy write the whole thing. It’s not like this was a lengthy email that need to be pared down.
  • Desperate….what’s desperate you ask??? When you include your phone number and email to a complete stranger. It’s either desperate or you are trying to expedite the process of my abduction leading to any or all of  strangulation, mutilation, murder, & rape, cause you are a nutjob.

Nugget of Awesomeness: I don’t want to feel like I am looking through the saddest of all boyfriend catalogs when I get a message from a web-lothario. Not only is this message informative to the point of being sterile, the points of personal information are sooo stoopid you know the person is either lying or slow bus special. And your attempt at making things seksi failed like me is high school American History. But the best advice that can be gained from this message is that no lady wants to hear about your dick the first time you speak to her, period. It ain’t sexy, it’s gross. Probably, just like your wang

 

 

This is an A and B conversation so C your way out of it.

16 Mar

 

This is totally not related to the story but isn't this little guy adorable 🙂

This whole abortion/birth control clusterfuck of stupid going on right now has given way to conservatives dissing premarital, non-procreation sex as bad and detrimental to people and society. I have a one question for these turds “How the fuck would you know?”

Most of these men claim to be good religious folk that abstained from sexy time till their wedding night so how are they in a position to have an informed opinion about the sex of single people? Oh right, they aren’t.”

How about you speak about what you know and stop dippin in my cool-aide.

You wanna know what non-married, non-procreation sex is like, it hot and great!!!! I do it as much as possible and feel nothing but glee to know I am not producing any offspring from my bedroom adventures. I feel no shame,  it is not hurting me or my partner or any of our neighbors, and it does not affect any other aspect of my life negatively. So put that in your Hater-pipe and smoke it, loser!!!

Nugget of Awesomeness: Single people sex is AWESOME and for those jerkface- know-nothings who want to hate on it, SUCK IT!!! If you have no experience with it you can have no opinion of it.

 

Gym culture AKA stuff I’m not good at.

7 Jan

I recently joined a gym for 3 months so I can have some place to jog indoors cause I don’t jog in the cold. Totally a princess like that. Really I don’t jog per se, I walk/jog and barely get above the slow saunter that is my natural pace but, whatevs, at least I’m trying.

The gym is a weird place to me; like church, fancy restaurants and flat-chested girls support meetings, it’s obvious from the get-go that I don’t fit in. For the gym it’s the attire that calls me out, I wear sweatpants and baggy shirts or disgustingly old wife-beaters cause I’m going to sweat all over it so why wear something nice. Seems that the desire to improve oneself physically is now also a fashion show, only the nicest, most breathable, sweat repelling, muscle massaging, ass-kissing gear can be worn to work out it. I’m so ashamed.

When did working out become a god-damn fashion show? I shouldn’t be surprised, even the purest of pursuits can be capitalized on and made into an elitist side-show. 

Also, there is some kind of weird unspoken, not written fucking anywhere laws that govern the gym that people don’t tell you but get all snotty about when you aren’t following them. Here’s a thought, let me know that at peak times it’s not polite to stay on the treadmill for more than 30 min, then when I ignore it you can have a good reason to think I’m a bitch and the skank-eyes you are throwing at me from across the room will be well deserved.

I don’t give a crap and will show up in whatever feels comfortable and work out how ever I choose and the haters can, SUCK IT!!! But I have heard more than one person I know express apprehension towards joining a gym because of this better-than-thou attitude that some folks have, they are afraid people will ridicule them and they aren’t wrong.

Like usual my advice is to say SUCK IT to the haters, they don’t deserve to win but American culture is a very “looks” based culture and it can be hard for someones self-esteem to have to be judged that way, not everyone can handle it.

Nugget of Awesomeness: Hey, ya you…the jerk in the $200 outfit at the gym, the one scoffing at everybody, let me break something down for you. I pay a gym membership fee every month just like you so, FUCK OFF!!! If you don’t like that other folks dress down and use the equipment for longer than you would like or aren’t as physically awesome as you then get a home gym. But if you are going to continue to pay for a public gym membership then quit with the judgement, it makes you look like a douche. Well, more of a douche than you already look like in your over priced work-out gear. 

You really should be doin IT more….

30 Aug

 

I just read a great article by Greta Christina (she’s super great) about how awesome casual sex is which she was inspired to write because of articles judging women harshly for participating in it. This got me thinking about my feelings about the sex I have, whether there is any shame attached to it, and I can honestly say “no.” But was that always true for me, also “no.”

My number of sexual partners is not high but it’s not low, I like to think of myself as open to having a good time but not reckless about it. Like all aspects of my life, I try to be smart.

But back to my point, why did I ever have any shame about bumpin uglies with random dudes and when did that stop? I can remember always being secretive about boy stuff when I was younger, I didn’t even want people to know when I liked a boy, I didn’t want their judgement. I think in high school I realized that people could be amazingly cruel about sexual and romantic issues and that the less people knew the better chance I had of not being completely humiliated. My close girlfriends knew things but no one else.

Once I started having sex I was the same way about it, I didn’t want anyones judgement so I didn’t want anyone to know, expect my close girlfriends.

So when did that stop?

I really don’t know…

…..but I can say that I don’t remember feeling it after my early 2os.

I would have to guess that maturity lead me to realize that what other people think about who you are fucking is really irrelevant, it’s how you feel about it that matters. Or I started fucking a better caliber of dude, ones I was willing to admit to 😉

Or, I started actually enjoying sex. That’s probably it. Around this same age sex became a much different ballgame, a much more enjoyable ballgame. Through trial and error I knew what I wanted and how to get it, and the boys I was sleeping with had refined their skills too. As soon as the sex consistently brought the big “O” it just wasn’t worth my time to worry about what other people thought about how I was getting it.

Now a days I may not sky write my sexual adventures for all to see but I discuss them openly and in the case of amazingly smokin hot dudes I will totally brag about it. And never for a second do I ponder the idea that people may deem me a “slut”, the thought actually never crosses my mind, ever.

How fucking awesome is that!!!

Nugget of Awesomeness: The thing that should be important to a person about sex is whether or not it’s good sex. (And because apparently I am now making PSAs you should also have safe sex) The is no lack of judgemental MFers in this world and they will find a way to talk shit no matter what you do, and sex is too fun an activity to let people shame you out of. My advice; Sex is fun, do it often and with passion. To all my readers, keep on fuckin.

 

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